


she

by you_get_to_exhale_now_cyrus



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hopeful Ending, Inspired by Music, Memories, She by Dodie Clark, Some minor fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 06:38:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17503526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/you_get_to_exhale_now_cyrus/pseuds/you_get_to_exhale_now_cyrus
Summary: Buffy reminisces about her relationship with Andi, the events of their past, and the fate of their future.





	she

**Author's Note:**

  * For [@bandi-mack](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=%40bandi-mack).



**_Am I allowed to look at her like that?_ **

**_Could it be wrong, when she’s just so nice to look at?_ **

Buffy stared at her phone screen. She had Andi’s Instagram pulled up, and just like all normal people do, she was scrolling through and analyzing all the pictures. So it was a typical Saturday night. She’d begun to sketch one in her notebook. Granted, it wasn’t great, but she worked hard on it.

_**She smells like lemongrass and sleep,** _

_**She tastes like apple juice and peach,** _

She gravitated towards the warmer colors, as colored pencils in reds, pinks, peaches, and yellows rolled on her bed. Tapping her phone again, she zoomed in on one section of her face, concentrating on trying to get Andi’s eyes just right. They were mesmerizing, even in photos; her chestnut eyes, soft and welcoming, and could read right through you. It was a quality Buffy had always admired, even if it bugged her when she tried to repress any of her own feelings.

_**You would find her, in a polaroid picture,** _

_**And she, means everything to me, oh,** _

She glanced over at her nightstand, where there was a small picture frame that she and Andi had made years ago, when Andi was just getting into crafting. It was, admittedly, a little messy, but Buffy loved it nonetheless. Inside was a photo from when they were both little, probably in elementary school, where they both tried to do their makeup.

_“We’re fashion queens!” Andi exclaimed, scampering into her mom’s room to grab her polaroid camera._

_Buffy followed after the trail of giggles, grinning from ear to ear, with a smudged line of red lipstick staining her face._

_“Strike a pose!” Andi shrieked, reaching out the camera as far as she could and snapping the photo. Both girls felt like they were nearly blinded by the flash, covering their eyes with their hands as the photo printed out._

_“You can keep it,” Andi said, handing it to Buffy, “my mama always said that sharing is caring,”_

It was still one of Buffy’s fondest memories to date.

_**I’d never tell,** _

_**No, I’d never say a word,** _

Grabbing a peachy pencil, she started to shade in Andi’s face, treading lightly at first, before deepening the color by her cheeks. Andi always blushed this particular shade of pink when she was embarrassed or when someone made her laugh. Buffy wanted to make sure she got it right, so she blended a few more colors into the mix of peaches and pinks.

_**And oh, it aches,** _

_**But it feels oddly good to hurt,** _

She remembered the day that Andi went redder than she’d ever seen her before. Naturally, her group of friends were at the Spoon, when Jonah walked in. And it was like a switch went off, because Andi just didn’t seem like herself anymore. It was like she’d forgotten how to speak and how to act. Buffy remained quiet, choosing to play with the napkin in front of her rather than intervene.

_“Do you wanna come play mini golf?” he asked, a smile brighter than the sun gracing his face._

_“Oh, yeah, totally! Buffy do you wanna come?” Andi had asked._

_“Oh, I-I meant, just you and me. If that’s okay,” Jonah mumbled, looking to her with hopeful eyes. Andi’s cheeks went red hot turning to Buffy for approval, supposedly._

_Buffy gave a small nod, squeezing her best friend’s hand quickly before she scooted out of the booth, and let them both walk out. Pinching her lips together, she gave Cyrus a small smile before they continued their conversation._

_**And she smells like lemongrass and sleep,** _

_**She tastes like apple juice and peach,** _

Buffy tapped on her phone again, zooming out a little on the photo in order to have a better idea of how the colors blended. Andi’s hair was swooped down onto her forehead, a few locks of it behind her ears. Grabbing the black colored pencil, she thought back to the day when Andi had decided to cut her hair by herself: short. It was a disaster, evidently, but Buffy had come over and helped her calm down about it.

_“It looks good, Andi! It’s a new you,” she exclaimed, pushing a few of her bangs aside._

_“I look like a boy,” Andi sniffed, turning to look at herself in the mirror, “this was a mistake,”_

_Buffy fished through one of Andi’s many drawers, before finally finding a blue headband with a bow that Andi had made a few years back. “Here,” she offered, slipping it onto the girl’s head, “better?”_

_Andi shifted the headband a little, turning to look at herself at different angles. “A little,” she admitted, turning to face Buffy, “thanks. You’re the best,”_

_She leaned forward to hug the other girl, and Buffy couldn’t help but feel a magnetic pull towards Andi._

_**Oh you would find her, in a polaroid picture,** _

_**And she, means everything to me,** _

_**Oh, oh, oh,** _

She paused, setting her pencil down and grabbing her eraser to try and soften the edges. She wanted nothing more right now than to call Andi, to hear her voice on the other line. To know that things were okay, that things were _going_ to be okay. But she knew she couldn’t.

_**And I’ll be okay, admiring from afar,** _

_**‘Cause even when she’s next to me,** _

_**We could not be more far apart,** _

Buffy opened her phone again, scrolling up to the more recent photos of Andi; one with Libby, a few with Jonah, a bunch with her and Cyrus, and one with her and Buffy. The last one. They were at the library, and Buffy could recall the day like it was just yesterday.

_“Shh, are you insane?” Andi giggled, running through the shelves of romance novels, “they’re gonna kill us!”_

_“Not if they don’t find us,” Buffy chuckled, grabbing Andi’s hand and dragging her along, and ending up by all the CDs and records. They hid under a display of them, both trying to contain their laughter._

_“Do you think Cyrus and Jonah will find us here?” Andi whispered, pressing her body against Buffy’s._

_Buffy swallowed, breathing in so softly, as though not wanting to scare off Andi like a deer. “I don’t think so,” she mumbled, pulling out her phone, “selfie?”_

_“Always,” Andi replied, leaning her head in a little closer and smiling as Buffy took the photo, “send that to me,”_

_She did, and Andi quickly posted it on Instagram, with the caption ‘best friends hide better’._

_Needless to say, Cyrus and Jonah found them rather quickly after that._

_**And she tastes like birthday cake and storytime and fall,** _

_**But to her, I taste of nothing at all,** _

Buffy quickly turned off her phone, shutting her eyes tightly. No. She had been down this road far too many times, lingered on that moment far too long for her liking. But no matter how much she tried to push it from her memories, it seemed to creep up to the front. Grabbing a few more pencils to finish Andi’s shirt, her memories came flooding back.

_“I think the lights add a nice touch, don’t you?” Andi asked, leaning back in the beanbag in AndiShack._

_Buffy nodded, not even paying attention to the lights. Her eyes didn’t leave the girl in front of her, almost mesmerized by her beauty. Buffy knew that she’d fallen, hard, and there was no way that she was going to be able to get back up._

_“Hey Andi?” Buffy whispered, earning the girl’s attention._

_“Yeah?”_

_Buffy hesitated, reaching her hand up and tugging on a strand of her hair. Boldly, she leaned forward and planted a kiss on Andi’s lips. It was quick and childish, but the fire that tore through her body was not ignorable. Immediately, she slapped a hand over her mouth, fingers trembling. Why did she do that? What was the matter with her?_

_“I-I’m sorry,” she squeaked out, before she started sprinting out of the small shack, not stopping until she could see her house in the distance. Her lungs were aching, her breathing sharp and laborious. She couldn’t see much as she walked into her house, the tears blurring her vision. Her feet stung, her arms felt numb, yet her lips were still on fire._

_She wanted to text Andi that this was all some mistake. That she wasn’t thinking about what she was doing. That she regretted it._

_But the truth was, those were all lies. She’d wanted to kiss Andi for a long time, but she never did. She didn’t regret the kiss, but she did regret how it had happened._

_**And she smells like lemongrass and sleep,** _

_**She tastes like apple juice and peach,** _

_**You would find her, in a polaroid picture,** _

_**And she, means everything to me,** _

Buffy swiped at the the tears that started to fall, cursing herself under her breath. She’d finished the sketch and quickly pushed it aside, not wanting to ruin it. It was a disgrace of a drawing, if you asked her; she really didn’t do Andi’s beauty justice.

_**Yes, she means everything to me,** _

Buffy tentatively reached for her phone, clicking on Andi’s story. It was a snapshot of her in her room, listening to music. Sad music, Buffy concluded after a little bit of squinting. She couldn’t help but think back to what Andi had said about sad music.

_“Because who wants to listen to happy music when they’re sad?” she pouted, crossing her arms._

_“Doesn’t listening to sad music when you’re sad, just make you more sad?” Buffy pointed out._

_Andi shook her head. “No, that’s what happy music does. It reminds you of how not happy you are. Sad music gets you. It understands that things are hard, and that it’s okay to feel like that,” she explained._

_And suddenly Buffy had a new outlook on sad music._

Swiping up, she hesitated on replying, her fingers lingering on the keyboard. She’d texted Andi for over two weeks, not daily, but still; there was never a reply.

_bdriscoll: are you okay?_

Buffy turned her attention back to her sketchbook. Taking a pen, she jotted down the date in the corner, and shut the journal with a gentle click. Her stomach grumbled, signaling her to get out of her room and to stop wallowing. Her phone buzzed, and at that moment, it felt like the world stopped spinning, and it was moving too fast all at once. She felt dizzy with anticipation, unlocking her phone with a shaky swipe.

_andiman: …not really._

_bdriscoll: do you wanna talk about it?_

_andiman: no that’s okay_

_bdriscoll: if it’s about what happened, i’m sorry_

_andiman: it’s okay, don’t worry about it_

_bdriscoll: you’re my best friend andi, i want you to be happy_

_andiman: thanks. i think i just need some time_

_bdriscoll: i get that. i’m here whenever you’re ready_

_andiman: thanks buffy_

_bdriscoll: no problem_

_read at 3:26 PM_

_**She means everything to me** _


End file.
